how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
