Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
