the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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