Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
