I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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