she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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