sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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