Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
