what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
