come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
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