normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
