She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
