You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
