therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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