Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Randomize
