The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
