Im at strip club and am horny
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
