he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
