Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
