I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
