i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
