her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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