Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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