we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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