Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
