hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
