My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
