Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
