I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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