I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
