i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
