No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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