i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
