PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Define "chronic" masturbator.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
