Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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