I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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