belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Randomize
