hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
