Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
