If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Randomize
