Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
