So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
