All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking ros�, bitch!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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