I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
