I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
