Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
