all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
