My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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