You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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