Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Randomize
