eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
My vagina is very pro this idea
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
